Ok, so I think the reality of this whole thing is finally starting to set in, and I have to tell you... I am scared to death. Here we are, traveling to a foreign country that we've never set foot in and coming home parents. I couldn't sleep last night because my mind was suddenly bombarded with thoughts of worry and paranoia. You know, things like, maybe I'm not ready to be a mom, and what if our baby hates us for taking him from his home country. etc. I guess I've been reading too many horror stories lately. Jon and I are convinced that this is exactly where God wants us, and despite the few doubting questions that enter my mind, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I want to do. Think about it, these children have been in an orphanage for ATLEAST 8 months with no contact at all from their biological families. A good deal of the children are "mixed breeds" (Eurasian) from teenage mothers which is a huge social stigma in Kaz and if they stay there it basically forces them into 2nd class citizenship. And, the orphanages have limited funding so when the child turns 14, it's to the street because there is no place for them to go. Thinking of this absolutely breaks my heart and just confirms to me that this is where God wants us. Our call is to help where we can, and maybe someday encourage others to open up there homes like we have. I don't know. I suppose I'm having the same doubts that any first time Mother-to-be has. I love my child. I want to raise him in a safe and Christ-centered environment. And I suppose I just need to let God take care of the rest. ;-) That's eaiser said than done, but I am starting to realize that I don't think I can handle this parenting thing on my own. I'm going to need someone there to guide me through and give me wisdom. God has placed so many wonderful people in my life: my wonderful, wonderful husband, our caring parents and brothers/sisters, and all of you who really care about us enough to read our blog (even the ranting posts like this one), follow our adoption journey, and bathe everything in prayer. It means so much and I know that you are the tools that God will use to help me through my new calling as a mother. Thank you all so much for your love and support. Keep on praying our dossier through... it's at the first ministry (1 of 4) and God is moving the process along swiftly. We are so grateful.
Thank you all again,
Love always,
Kristin
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3 comments:
You are going to be awesome parents!! Because God is the center of your home,the baby is going to be so blessed and loved.
I think all new parents have questions, I know Bill and I had them when we had Jared and it did not get any easier with Allison and Jordan.
We are praying for you and love you.
Bill, Shelly, Jared, Allison and Jordan
Hey Kristin, I know you and Jon are going to be great parents! Anything new and unknown can be scary, but it is going to be amazing because this is what God has for you. As my mom tells me, "The Lord has always taken care of you before, right? Then why are you worrying?" Sounds simple but I know it's not. Can't wait to see you guys, only a few weeks now! I'm praying for you...every day! Love ya! Misty
I'm finding in seminary that our relationship with God is best defined in the midst of times like the one you're going through now--keep trusting Him like you're doing and He will indeed provide what you need. We're praying for you and we hope you'll get to go to Kaz soon. We are so proud of you and what you're doing and we praise God for following what He has laid on your hearts even though it's scary and overwhelming. Hang in there!!!
With much love,
Dana, Addie & Gavin
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